Book: The Gift of Being Yourself

I just finished the audiobook “The Gift of Being Yourself” by David Benner. I listened in the car so I couldn’t take notes. I caught less of the content for that reason. A couple of things in particular did stick with me though.

Benner talks about false selves being identities that we put on to present an acceptable image to the world. We may not even realize we are doing it. They may be based on things that are true about us. Just not the whole truth or the whole Us. As a child you see your family likes that you are steady and unflappable. So without realizing you decide to be the steadiest most unflappable person you can be.

That false self is not real and you know it on some level. A false self is 1 dimensional. It can’t stand up to close scrutiny on its own. We try to make it real by covering ourselves in experiences. Like the invisible man we wrap ourselves in bandages to give substance to what people otherwise could not see. We layer on accomplishments that make that false self more substantial.